It’s the age old question and the answer really isn’t that simple.  Can men and women just be friends?  Some people say yes, while others will emphatically say no.  The truth is it is possible, but it is very tricky.

Dr. Don O’Meara set out to try to explain cross- sex friendships.  Through his research he was able to identify the most common challenges these friendships face. 

O’Meara insists that platonic love does exist.  A study conducted by Heidi Reeder and published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships lends wait to O'Meara's claim.  Reeder looked at 20 pairs of friends and confirmed there is such a thing as “friendship attraction”; it’s a connection that has no element of lust in it. It’s just difficult to tell the difference between romantic, sexual and friendly feelings.

“People don’t know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they’re what our culture defines as appropriate. You know you love someone and enjoy them as a person, but not enough to date or marry them. What does this mean?” said O’Meara.

The topic that always comes up when people question cross-sex friendships is the notion of sexual tension.  There doesn’t seem to be any way to avoid it. That platonic hug could spawn more romantic feelings without intending too.  Another study asked 150 professionals what they liked and disliked about their friendships with the opposite sex. Most women said they disliked the sexual tension.  Not surprising, the men said sexual attraction was the top reason for wanting to be friends in the first place.  Still, 62% of all respondents said sexual tension was present.

The biggest problem with male-female friendships is what other people think. It seems there will always be skepticism.  There is no way around it yet.  Until society realizes that men and women can work together and play together without sexual overtones people will doubt they are just friends.

So while men and women can be friends it is not without its challenges and frustrations.

Tags: men and women just friends, cross-sex friendships, don o'meara, heidi reeder, platonic friendships
Categories: Stuff