Been dumped? Goping through a hard time with the old lady?
Love really does hurt, according to researchers.
New brain scanning technologies are revealing that the part of the brain that processes physical pain also deals with emotional pain. And in the same way that in some people injury can cause long-lasting chronic pain, science now reveals why some will never get over such heartbreak.
Emotional pain = physical pain
"If you listen to people who are damaged emotionally, they will often translate their pain into physical similes: 'My head is bursting, my guts are aching' and so on," says Professor David Alexander of the Aberdeen Centre for Trauma Research in Scotland. "The parallel is very strong."
Losing a loved one
Emotional pain can take many forms; a relationship break-up or social exclusion, for example. But it does not get any more extreme than losing a loved one. You hear stories about people who die shortly after their beloved spouse. Well, it's not coincidence.
"There is an increased risk of dying in the six months after bereavement and it's particularly marked amongst men," says Martin Cowie, professor of cardiology at the Brompton Hospital in the UK.
The bereaved are much more likely to be involved in accidents, which is perhaps understandable, but also to die from heart attacks and stroke. The hormones involved in the stress of bereavement make these events more likely.
What you can do
Sure, this is depressing stuff, but there is a silver lining: Knowledge.
Physical pain warns us not to do something, like walk on a broken ankle. And emotional pain can sound a similar warning, as in "Avoid women like her again!"
And if the unthinkable happens to you and you lose a loved one, get bereavement counseling. Don't wait. And don't do it alone: it's like trying to do surgery on yourself.
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