You're at another holiday party and as usual, everyone's huddled into their own little clusters of friends, or pressed against the wall as tightly as wallpaper. You spot a sexy lady across the room, you approach her and do the "hi-how-do-you-know-the-host-isn't-this-oyster-cheese-dip-great?"
Then what?
You have a minute, maybe two, to show her you're interested. Do it in a way she can't resist. Try these foolproof tips to break on through to the other side of flirting success.
Smile
There is nothing that connects us human beings as powerfully as a genuine smile. It shows you care. It shows you're interested. It shows you're confident, even if you don't feel that way inside (and, come on, who does all the time?)
Use her name a lot
By using her name frequently when chatting, you give the conversation a more personal feel and show that you are hell-yes interested in her. You could later refer to her by a cute nickname that will really make her smile. Nothing too sweet or treacly like Poopsie, but some take-off on her name, someone she reminds you of (a celebrity?) or something related to her dress or actions.
Give her compliments
After chatting awhile, stop and notice her. Size her up. All women love to receive attention and be noticed. Tell her red is her color. Tell her you love raven hair like hers. Ask her how she keeps her skin so baby soft. Trust me, this works.
Play reporter
Everyone asks new people what they do for a living. Do NOT say, "That's nice" or "that's interesting." Go a step further: Ask her why! Ask why she loves the things she does and what types of art, music, sports, etc. are her favorites. Ask her if the stereotypes about her job bug her or what are the best and worst parts of the job. Discovering more about her makes her feel appreciated, and will also help you find common ground that is essential for a successful relationship.
A light touch
If you've been chatting a while, shift gears from talk to touch. Give her arm a light fingertipping to make a point. Put your hand lightly on her shoulder to guide you through a crowded room to the bar. Keep it light and a bit protective. Do NOT try to hold her hand. The electricity of human touch gives an unmistakable message: You're exciting and worth touching! It will also tell you right away if she's interested: If she backs off, you back off; she may not be interested or she may think you're moving too fast. If she doesn't resist, it's a body-language sign of a green light to get her number.
Online dating
No, you can't touch her online, but you can smile, ask questions by email or video chat that make your interest unmistakable, and compliment what she's wearing. Notice changes between photos: a new dress? a new hair color? Ask (innocently) about it.
Don't ever, ever
Do ask questions but don't interrogate; don't talk about sex (or God forbid, brag about it); do not glue your eyes to her ample cleavage or let them wander; resist the urge to brag about anything: your money, connections or new boat. And don't use the word "us" or infer any notion of couplehood, even if you think she's the one by the end of the evening. The history of mankind is littered with the glass of broken hearts who mistook lust for love.
It's human nature to crave another's interest. That is what flirting is all about: showing sincere interest and a little whiff of romantic interest. It is not smarmy innuendo or clever pick-up lines. It's about "keeping it real." Genuine interest has no equal, and is the backbone of successful flirting with beautiful, single ladies.
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