TheNoNonsenseMan.com’s relationship coach Marc Rudov recently shared, in an email to his subscribers, the following point:

“I counsel you to choose women who agree with you in the areas of great importance to you. Sometimes these areas are based on facts; sometimes they are based on beliefs and philosophies and preferences -- like religion, physical fitness, substance abuse, and sexual activities.”

Marc is spot on here. I think this is very valuable information for all people to have. These 4 factors contribute to many of the problems couples have that break them up. Aside from “fighting about money”, disagreements about lifestyle and ideology can cause irreparable rifts between the most in tune of pairs. I will offer my two cents here, based on my experience.

Religion

This is a big one, as this will extend past your relationship and to the rest of the family. Not only is it which doctrine you follow, but to what degree you practice it. If going to church every Sunday is more important than watching Football to her and not to you… Well, you get it. Not that you need to limit yourself to your own religion, but you should at least be upfront about your affiliation and level of zeal and respect theirs.

Physical Fitness

Just today I heard about a co-worker having a disagreement with her spouse about going to the gym. If you have a couch potato and a fitness buff, you are bound to get into some arguments. Not only that, but there will be increasing resentment and insecurity if one gets more attention than the other, good or bad. You really don’t want to be the fat piece of crap next to a hottie who looks like a decathlete. And vice-versa. Throughout your life your exercise regiment may change, but if you were once mega active and now are not, it could create a disparity.

Substance Abuse

Do you party and drink often? Do you like to smoke pot before doing anything? Whatever your poison of choice is, if your other half is not into it or totally against it, it is only a matter of time until it causes a major issue. It may be tolerated at first, during the courting phase, but once you move in with someone or start going to work/family functions and acting like a fiend, get ready for WWIII.

Sexual Activities

The second more popular fight after money is sex. Having too little of it. Too much of it. Too kinky of it. Too boring. Not enough orgasms. Don’t like this. Don’t enjoy that. No matter how hot your relationship was, it usually will cool off after a while. If you let this problem go too long, you may reach the point of no return. Be upfront about what you want and listen to what they want. Then, stick to a middle ground or perish.

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Tags: marc rudov, good relationship, dating tip, nononsenseman, equality, love, agreement
Categories: Tips and advice